My girlfriend

[Solar]

@ jakh:

Been there. It took me years to get over my first big love, and I still think about her sometimes, almost twenty years later. I know how little anything I can say will help you.

But think about this: She left you. Tragic implications aside, that means she didn't love you back the same way. Big, epic, unconditional love only works if both feel that way - otherwise, both will suffer greatly. Take your time grieving, but don't destroy yourself over it. Someone capable of such love will find someone who loves right back.

[JackScott]

Now, why can't teachers just tell us stuff like that, instead of (relatively) useless things like integrating square roots? We would all be much better off.

I'm currently single. I want a girlfriend, but I know I couldn't give her the amount of time she would deserve, so I'm not pursuing it further.

[Solar]

Now, why can't teachers just tell us stuff like that, instead of (relatively) useless things like integrating square roots?

That's what parents and / or friends are for... who couldn't teach you integrating square roots in turn.

[jakh]

@ jakh:

Been there. It took me years to get over my first big love, and I still think about her sometimes, almost twenty years later. I know how little anything I can say will help you.

But think about this: She left you. Tragic implications aside, that means she didn't love you back the same way. Big, epic, unconditional love only works if both feel that way - otherwise, both will suffer greatly. Take your time grieving, but don't destroy yourself over it. Someone capable of such love will find someone who loves right back.

Hm...thanks for the reply. But you know it's very hard for me to forget her. I work my self more than 18 hours a day, I keep my self busy so that those won't come into my mind any more. I just work.
Thanks for the reply.

[DeletedAccount]

I voted for option 1 . I will never have a girl friend . I am happy staying single and prefer staying single .I will not mary. I am a freaking weirdo . There are other reasons as well

1) I want to reduce my country's surplus population ( least thing i can do for my country )

2) Married people tend to very selfish , If i stay unmarried I can do something good for the community as whole , without too much concerns about myself.

3) I do not want to waste a womans life , It is better that they stay away from me.

4) If i ever have kids , they will be called sons of sandeep --- 'Worst thing i can do to them'

5) Finally do not misunderstand me , I in my entire life has not treated a woman with disrespect , or involved in a relationship with any woman . I am supressing my internal emotions for a greater cause .

Regards
Sandeep

I'm not meaning to sound disrespectful of your decisions, but there were a few things in your post that I thought I'd point out.

1) Reducing the surplus population is a noble goal, but there's other ways to do it without sacrificing the benefits you may get by having a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite gender. Both times my wife was pregnant, her pregnancies were very rough, and there were a lot of health concerns for both her and the baby. So after our daughter was born, and after lots of discussion about the matter, I went to see a urologist and had things taken care of. We decided that we still would like to have another child, and we'd like to adopt. Unfortunately there's lots of unwanted children out there in need of a loving family, and we intend to provide a home for one.

2) I do know quite a few married couples that are very selfish, but on the whole I tend to find that a happily married couple is more caring and giving together than either one is capable of on their own. I've always donated some time and goods to charity and those in need, but since I have gotten married I find that I spend more time doing those things. Back to the unwanted children thing, my wife and I are also about to start attending classes to be foster parents. We've signed up with the appropriate county and state agencies so that if there's some reason a child needs a place to stay for a night, a week, or a month, there will be one more open slot. There have been entirely too many cases where a child that should have been taken away from abusive parents and put someplace safe was left in that abusive situation simply because there was nobody to take the child. Some people will point out that the government does provide a stipend for each foster child, and some people are in it just "for the money", but for us it's all about improving the quality of life for a child, and "doing the right thing."

3) Plenty of studies have been done that show married people are generally happier, healthier, and live longer, more fruitful lives. Of course, that in and of itself is no reason to get married, and here in the US the divorce rate is nearly 50%.

4) There's a lot worse things that could be done to a child than whatever damage you think may be done by their name. For me, I couldn't imagine life without my children. They're most of the reason that I am who I am today, and I find that I'm a much, much better person since they came into my life.

Finally, while I applaud your decision to act toward a greater cause, and I wish more people in this world adopt that way of thinking, I don't really agree with your Vulcan ideology on emotion. There's plenty of ways to further a cause without having to sacrifice so much of who you are, or potentially could be. That being said, perhaps you don't see it as sacrifice.

Again, I mean no disrespect with this post, and I apologize in advance if you or anyone else is offended. I think I'll step down from the altar now and get back to work.

hey never bother about me , You can say anything you want to me . I still have a lots n lots of friends . Never care about offending me , but i never want to hurt anyone or cause trouble to anyone , that's all . I am a freaking eccentric by the way n do not care if you do not treat me with much respect

Regards
Sandeep

[distantvoices]

Well, after two weird attempt at building a relationship (the first 's been a but so nice lady who's put poison in my food, trust, way to go, and the second one 's been very impressing at first sight, but, oh yeah, turned out to be a kind of a bully) I've "found" one woman I've spent seven precious years with. There's something about love and how it occasionally falls apart just to be trampled in dust, blown by the wind one ain't ever forget. Never mind. That relationship 's ended a year ago. This splitting up has been agonizing (althou' not unprepared - I've known for quite some months before, what's gonna happen), it has been a crap time of about 10 months (studying, working, sleeping, ...), and eventually I've resurfaced from that zombie-state.

But heck, 't is life, innit?

Gotta move on.

[Solar]

...lady who's put poison in my food...

WTF?

[distantvoices]

Yeah. I've found out (got seriously ill from that ****) 'coz that weird lass 's been bragging 'bout it to someone else I've happened to know too. The moment I've gained that knowledge I 've got shot of that person quicker than light.

For god's sake that's now merely some memory.

[Brynet-Inc]

I'm confused, did he just say someone poisoned him... and then he shot somebody?

[JackScott]

No. In Australia we have a similar saying, 'too shoot through' / 'he shot through'. Basically means to move away or leave really, really fast.

So basically he broke up with her and tried to avoid her.

[xyjamepa]

I cannot vote either ,I love this girl she is 6 years older than me,this is big problem in our country,here you have to be with a girl younger than you,Also there is another problem
she is from a different religion,here you have to be with some one belongs to the same religiom
as yours.
I've been in this situation for about 5 years,till now I couldn't
get over here,(I see her as they only woman existed on earth),or be in a relation with her....
I know this situation is not healthy, I'm very desperate and sad

[DeletedAccount]

I once made fun of my friend who found out that one he loved was in love in with someone else . That day i learned that he is a karate brown belt -- got kicked out of the room instantantly .He used to travel a long distance just to get a glimpse of her , but he was afraid to ask . I made fun of all of these .... he he .But we still are friends , I just thought he forgot about her .....


To his embaressement , I found her image in his computer zipped,renamed and saved in a hidden location ..... : .
Anyways the love thing is too complicated for me .... I think it is better to live without it

[suthers]

To his embaressement , I found her image in his computer zipped,renamed and saved in a hidden location ..... : .
Anyways the love thing is too complicated for me .... I think it is better to live without it

Jules

[bewing]

I'm single, too. I had a couple of very fleeting opportunities to get to know a couple of really interesting girls -- a decade or more ago -- but I accidentally blew my chances.

Theoretically, I'd like to get into a relationship. However, what I have been finding is that American women my age have been through so many bad relationships that they are seriously "damaged". American women seem to be magnetically drawn to bad/angry/dangerous/cruel men, when they are young. The women end up with anger issues, trust issues, issue issues, other "baggage", & etc. It gets so bad that they are not interesting anymore. In other words, I've basically given up in disgust.

So, my advice on the subject is to find a nice girl, get married fairly young -- and be nice to her so that she doesn't turn into a big drag. Her future psychology depends on how you treat her now.

[quok]

I'm single, too. I had a couple of very fleeting opportunities to get to know a couple of really interesting girls -- a decade or more ago -- but I accidentally blew my chances.

Theoretically, I'd like to get into a relationship. However, what I have been finding is that American women my age have been through so many bad relationships that they are seriously "damaged". American women seem to be magnetically drawn to bad/angry/dangerous/cruel men, when they are young. The women end up with anger issues, trust issues, issue issues, other "baggage", & etc. It gets so bad that they are not interesting anymore. In other words, I've basically given up in disgust.

So, my advice on the subject is to find a nice girl, get married fairly young -- and be nice to her so that she doesn't turn into a big drag. Her future psychology depends on how you treat her now.

I'm going to have to agree with you on the psychology of the average American woman there. Most of them are just completely nuts! When I was in my late teens and early 20s, [it seems now that] everyone I dated was a crazy psycho biatch. Some of them were really fun crazies, but they were still crazy. Then again, sex with those crazy ones tends to be pretty great, too, but that doesn't mean any of it is really worth it in the long run. Especially when they start stalking you after the relationship ends. I've had that happen, not fun at all.

I'll definitely agree with the "find a nice girl and be nice to her so she doesn't turn in to a big drag" part, but I'm not entirely certain I agree with the "get married young" part. I got married at 25, and lots of people said I was way too young. I didn't believe it then, but I'm starting to believe it now. Either way it goes, though, the first few years of marriage are very tough (and even harder when you have a child born 6 months into your marriage). Whatever happens, getting married young, old, I'd recommend at least dating for a couple of years, and perhaps even living together for a couple more before getting married. And for ${deity}'s sake, having a child is not enough of a reason by itself to get married.

In my case, my wife and I were only dating for about 6 months (and 4 days, actually) when we said our "I do's." Whirlwind relationships are great sometimes, but they can also make an already complicated matter even harder.