Funny things ignorant people say about PCs

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naiksidd_85
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Post by naiksidd_85 »

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support
to report that
his
computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup
files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to
replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to
change the
startup
and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to
tell me the
command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is
right. The
tech is
frustrated and fed up.

Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers
this, but
there is
an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end
of the
CONFIG.SYS.
Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still
smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS
didn't
come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch
that will give you
the
file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what
you said,
and he
started asking questions about the make of power
supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible
with
NOSMOKE.
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naiksidd_85
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Post by naiksidd_85 »

my PM once said that there is no KERNEL in UBUNTU
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Combuster
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Post by Combuster »

There was an ad on tv here a while ago. Can't trace it though (I can't recall the associated company.) One of the fragments went something like this:

husband and wife (around their 50s) sitting behind a computer
woman: (reading from the manual) "move the mouse to the top left side of the screen"
man: picks up the mouse and places it on the top-left corner of the monitor
"Certainly avoid yourself. He is a newbie and might not realize it. You'll hate his code deeply a few years down the road." - Sortie
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senaus
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Post by senaus »

My friend once reduced the font size of a Word document in a vain attempt to make it fit on a floppy disk.

Code: Select all

-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.1
GCS/M/MU d- s:- a--- C++++ UL P L++ E--- W+++ N+ w++ M- V+ PS+ Y+ PE- PGP t-- 5- X R- tv b DI-- D+ G e h! r++ y+
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
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Zacariaz
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Post by Zacariaz »

senaus wrote:My friend once reduced the font size of a Word document in a vain attempt to make it fit on a floppy disk.
That is at least a mistake one can understand. In theory it could make a difference.
This was supposed to be a cool signature...
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AndrewAPrice
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Post by AndrewAPrice »

Zacariaz wrote:
senaus wrote:My friend once reduced the font size of a Word document in a vain attempt to make it fit on a floppy disk.
That is at least a mistake one can understand. In theory it could make a difference.
I sort of agree too. If it was enough to trim a few pages off then it's possible you could save a few bytes on the storage for the other pages (but I don't know how the Word format works).
My OS is Perception.
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Zacariaz
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Post by Zacariaz »

I was thinking more in the line of if people assumed it was stored as graphics, which would make sence for someone who doesn't really know anything about computers.
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AndrewAPrice
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Post by AndrewAPrice »

Or they think their computer is running out of pages and don't want to waste any more. They also think that when you are done with a document you need to drag it into the Recycle Bin so the paper can be reused in Word again :)
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Post by Brynet-Inc »

"Where is the start menu?"

That question makes my blood boil.. :wink:
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JoeKayzA
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Post by JoeKayzA »

Brynet-Inc wrote:"Where is the start menu?"

That question makes my blood boil.. :wink:
Along the lines of "Why is the (task-)bar at the left side? That's not the way it's meant to be!".

Yep, I know what you mean...
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naiksidd_85
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Post by naiksidd_85 »

my friends mom "keep your pc cabinate clean it may get affected by virus"
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eddyb

Post by eddyb »

- I've upgrade my computer!
- What Pentium did u get?
:P

Or

2 people talking about computers that they have:
- What Pentium do u have?

These mistakes(to think Pentium it's computer type, etc) I saw myself (:D)
at my friends. so, they're noobs :P :lol:
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Combuster
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Post by Combuster »

IMHO I don't find it noobish or even stupid - the CPU and GPU determine a computer's speed the most. generalizing to either component is pretty common. Even I would, if asked about my computers, answer with "two 486s, two pentiums, two p2s, one dual-p2, two p3, one celeron, one athlon xp, an athlon64, and a vacuum cleaner I won't bother you with". I.e., the processor type, as it implies to some extent a comparable video, harddisk, and other hardware.
"Certainly avoid yourself. He is a newbie and might not realize it. You'll hate his code deeply a few years down the road." - Sortie
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jerryleecooper
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Post by jerryleecooper »

Apple Computer said that you as programmer must not use tranlucency in the drag and drop effect on text and picture, because that would distract the end user from accomplishing its work, that was in 1998 I think.
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B.E
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Post by B.E »

The norm answer i get when i ask how much memory do you have,they usually say 120GB or the amount of hard disk space they have.
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